Monday, March 26, 2012

The waiting game....

      On March 20th, 2012, after trying since Thanksgiving 2011, we got our positive pregnancy test. It was faint, but it was positive. Kinda funny because Nick knew before I did. About 3-4 days before I took the test, he told me his suspected, but never said anything. Nice.
     I called the doctor to schedule my first appointment. May 1st. MAY?! Are they kidding? It's not like waiting for a teeth cleaning or something. This is waiting to see whether or not the baby you are cooking is normal or not. Wow. What a wait.
     I just couldn't stand it. Took some more tests. All negative. What now? Called the doctor again to report my findings. The doctor didn't seem to worried. After all, I wasn't even LATE. Heck, it was probably a fluke the test caught it this early. Still having symptoms, still freaking out. Told me to wait until Wednesday or Thursday, 3/28 or 3/29 to take another, then call with results and we would go from there. I don't like waiting. Can you tell?
     I talked to a naturopathic doctor I had left a message for earlier in the week. She really did calm my fears, saying that since my cycles were also irregular, I could just be WAYYYY early and also not have any idea when it's supposed to be due. So her advice, wait. Great. Well, at least she told me no matter what, good news or bad, she offers services for fertility AND pregnancy. Two bases-one doctor. Score.
     So now comes the waiting...and waiting...and waiting. And the nausea and soreness and exhaustion are still ever present, which does help the wait. It shows me that there is at least something still going on with our little Gummy Bear, as my husband nicknamed the little one. Don't judge-I named our daughter Squishy.
     Stay tuned...

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Warning: flashback ahead

Warning: flashback dead ahead.

          On Columbus Day, October 14, 2008, Nick & I were enjoying steaks from the grill. It was a pretty nice day out-we were grasping the last wisps of summer before it was gone til May. As I watched him cut into is medium rare steak, I felt a wave of nausea come over me. Well, it was more like a tsunami really. I started dry heaving at the dinner table. Nick gave me this horrified look I will never forget. I couldn’t stop. Poor guy had to finish eating his steak behind a napkin. And I couldn’t eat my own steak, which as I like it, was a charred burnt offering to the gods of grilling. He shook his head as he said “Go take a test or something.”
           Well, I did. I took a test later that night…and there it was, a faint positive line right there in front of my face. Huh. I go walking into the bedroom brandishing my peestick as if it was some kind of trophy. He again gave me a disturbed look. “Don’t shake that at me. You peed on it.” Whatever. He then switched from abhorred by urine to happy about a baby on board.

          The following day, I called my doctor’s office. From my calculations, I was only about 3 weeks along & they couldn’t detect a heartbeat on an ultrasound until around 7 weeks or so anyway. Great. The horrible waiting game. I scheduled the first appointment with ultrasound for Veteran’s Day when I knew Nick would be off work-one less day for him to have to take off for appointments. In the meantime of having a positive pee stick, two of our friends had miscarriages. Yikes.
             I was sick with worry in the waiting room, convinced something was wrong. The nurse called us in for the ultrasound & we got started. I was holding my breath as I saw our little “Squishy” on the screen, heartbeat strong. I started crying & told the tech about our friends unfortunate happenings. She smiled as she showed us the baby’s anatomy. Amazing. We went back out to the waiting room to wait for our doctor’s appointment. I was so relieved. I knew that chances of something happening in pregnancy dropped significantly when the first heartbeat was seen.

          Details details….doctor said by the date of my last period I was due on 6/28/2009.  Long waiting game again. Sigh.

          Now it was time to tell our families. Only one or two of my very close friends knew I was pregnant right away. I just had to tell SOMEONE! It was either that week or the next-I can’t recall exactly. We gave his parents & my mom a card for Thanksgiving with a copy of the ultrasound pic in it. I will never forget the look on my mother-in-law’s face as she read & re-read the card. “Really? Really?” My father-in-law just smiled and they both hugged us. And started telling everyone else in the Moose club. We had to go to his aunt’s and grandmother’s house later to tell them. We just HAD to, my mother-in-law said! His grandmother cried and I think his aunt (also his godmother) screamed. Loudly. My mother had pretty much the same reaction as my in-laws. My grandmother, for those of you who know or have heard stories of her, said that it was probably a false pregnancy since one of my good friends had just had a baby & I wanted one too. I told her I thought it was pretty hard to have a false ultrasound as well. Oy.
 My pregnancy progressed normally. Nausea came and went. And came back again. And left again. It was like a revolving door. We took Bradley childbirth classes for natural delivery. It helped a lot with relaxation.  I watched what I ate & didn’t gain my own gravitational pull.

          Two days after my due date, at 2 am, I woke up with strong contractions. I showered and shaved my legs (of course) while Nick talked to our doctor and also our childbirth teacher who was also going to be our doula. We checked into the hospital around 5 am. I told Nick not to call anyone because I didn’t want a truckload of people in the waiting room. I progressed really quickly. At 9 cm, they broke my water and things moved even quicker! My poor doctor didn’t even have a chance to make it to the hospital. She had assumed that my since this was my first labor, it would be long. I was ready to push! The nurse (who was wonderful) told me to wait to push until the doctor got there. Yeah, ok. Kim, our doula, laughed and looked at Nick. “You want to catch your baby?” Nick was on board. The nurse called the on-call obstetrician again to tell them to hurry up. Just as I was ready to start pushing anyway, the doctor rushed in. It wasn’t my doctor, but hey, at that point, I would take it. She rushed to get her gown on and then I started pushing. I think I pushed for about ten minutes and that was it.
            At 10:34am, we welcomed our daughter, Cara Mae, into the world. Nick got to be the one to announce the baby’s sex. I was so excited for him that he was able to do that. He cut the cord, they cleaned her off & we were cuddling in no time. Honestly, childbirth wasn’t bad. I’ve had worse pain-my lower back tattoo was a thousand times more painful. I will say this: when the water breaks, it is a pain like no other. It is a combination of pain and pressure and you can’t control it. It is just you vs this baby who is trying to fight his way out.
Now our little miracle isn’t so little anymore. She is almost 3 years old and will be starting preschool in the fall. Where does the time go?

Now we are anxiously awaiting our first doctor’s appointment on May 1 (or earlier, if I can help it-I'm going bonkers!!!)  for our second little miracle, who is due around 12/4/2012. J