On March 20th, 2012, after trying since Thanksgiving 2011, we got our positive pregnancy test. It was faint, but it was positive. Kinda funny because Nick knew before I did. About 3-4 days before I took the test, he told me his suspected, but never said anything. Nice.
I called the doctor to schedule my first appointment. May 1st. MAY?! Are they kidding? It's not like waiting for a teeth cleaning or something. This is waiting to see whether or not the baby you are cooking is normal or not. Wow. What a wait.
I just couldn't stand it. Took some more tests. All negative. What now? Called the doctor again to report my findings. The doctor didn't seem to worried. After all, I wasn't even LATE. Heck, it was probably a fluke the test caught it this early. Still having symptoms, still freaking out. Told me to wait until Wednesday or Thursday, 3/28 or 3/29 to take another, then call with results and we would go from there. I don't like waiting. Can you tell?
I talked to a naturopathic doctor I had left a message for earlier in the week. She really did calm my fears, saying that since my cycles were also irregular, I could just be WAYYYY early and also not have any idea when it's supposed to be due. So her advice, wait. Great. Well, at least she told me no matter what, good news or bad, she offers services for fertility AND pregnancy. Two bases-one doctor. Score.
So now comes the waiting...and waiting...and waiting. And the nausea and soreness and exhaustion are still ever present, which does help the wait. It shows me that there is at least something still going on with our little Gummy Bear, as my husband nicknamed the little one. Don't judge-I named our daughter Squishy.
Stay tuned...
My life so far...
Monday, March 26, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Warning: flashback ahead
Warning: flashback dead
ahead.
On
Columbus Day, October 14, 2008, Nick & I were enjoying steaks from the
grill. It was a pretty nice day out-we were grasping the last wisps of summer
before it was gone til May. As I watched him cut into is medium rare steak, I
felt a wave of nausea come over me. Well, it was more like a tsunami really. I
started dry heaving at the dinner table. Nick gave me this horrified look I
will never forget. I couldn’t stop. Poor guy had to finish eating his steak
behind a napkin. And I couldn’t eat my own steak, which as I like it, was a
charred burnt offering to the gods of grilling. He shook his head as he said “Go
take a test or something.”
Well, I
did. I took a test later that night…and there it was, a faint positive line
right there in front of my face. Huh. I go walking into the bedroom brandishing
my peestick as if it was some kind of trophy. He again gave me a disturbed
look. “Don’t shake that at me. You peed on it.” Whatever. He then switched from
abhorred by urine to happy about a baby on board.
The
following day, I called my doctor’s office. From my calculations, I was only
about 3 weeks along & they couldn’t detect a heartbeat on an ultrasound
until around 7 weeks or so anyway. Great. The horrible waiting game. I
scheduled the first appointment with ultrasound for Veteran’s Day when I knew Nick
would be off work-one less day for him to have to take off for appointments. In
the meantime of having a positive pee stick, two of our friends had
miscarriages. Yikes.
I was
sick with worry in the waiting room, convinced something was wrong. The nurse
called us in for the ultrasound & we got started. I was holding my breath
as I saw our little “Squishy” on the screen, heartbeat strong. I started crying
& told the tech about our friends unfortunate happenings. She smiled as she
showed us the baby’s anatomy. Amazing. We went back out to the waiting room to
wait for our doctor’s appointment. I was so relieved. I knew that chances of
something happening in pregnancy dropped significantly when the first heartbeat
was seen.
Details
details….doctor said by the date of my last period I was due on 6/28/2009. Long waiting game again. Sigh.
Now it
was time to tell our families. Only one or two of my very close friends knew I
was pregnant right away. I just had to tell SOMEONE! It was either that week or
the next-I can’t recall exactly. We gave his parents & my mom a card for
Thanksgiving with a copy of the ultrasound pic in it. I will never forget the
look on my mother-in-law’s face as she read & re-read the card. “Really?
Really?” My father-in-law just smiled and they both hugged us. And started
telling everyone else in the Moose club. We had to go to his aunt’s and
grandmother’s house later to tell them. We just HAD to, my mother-in-law said!
His grandmother cried and I think his aunt (also his godmother) screamed.
Loudly. My mother had pretty much the same reaction as my in-laws. My
grandmother, for those of you who know or have heard stories of her, said that
it was probably a false pregnancy since one of my good friends had just had a
baby & I wanted one too. I told her I thought it was pretty hard to have a
false ultrasound as well. Oy.
My
pregnancy progressed normally. Nausea came and went. And came back again. And
left again. It was like a revolving door. We took Bradley childbirth classes
for natural delivery. It helped a lot with relaxation. I watched what I ate & didn’t gain my own
gravitational pull.
Two days
after my due date, at 2 am, I woke up with strong contractions. I showered and
shaved my legs (of course) while Nick talked to our doctor and also our
childbirth teacher who was also going to be our doula. We checked into the
hospital around 5 am. I told Nick not to call anyone because I didn’t want a
truckload of people in the waiting room. I progressed really quickly. At 9 cm,
they broke my water and things moved even quicker! My poor doctor didn’t even
have a chance to make it to the hospital. She had assumed that my since this
was my first labor, it would be long. I was ready to push! The nurse (who was
wonderful) told me to wait to push until the doctor got there. Yeah, ok. Kim,
our doula, laughed and looked at Nick. “You want to catch your baby?” Nick was
on board. The nurse called the on-call obstetrician again to tell them to hurry
up. Just as I was ready to start pushing anyway, the doctor rushed in. It wasn’t
my doctor, but hey, at that point, I would take it. She rushed to get her gown
on and then I started pushing. I think I pushed for about ten minutes and that
was it.
At 10:34am, we welcomed our
daughter, Cara Mae, into the world. Nick got to be the one to announce the baby’s
sex. I was so excited for him that he was able to do that. He cut the cord,
they cleaned her off & we were cuddling in no time. Honestly, childbirth
wasn’t bad. I’ve had worse pain-my lower back tattoo was a thousand times more
painful. I will say this: when the water breaks, it is a pain like no other. It
is a combination of pain and pressure and you can’t control it. It is just you
vs this baby who is trying to fight his way out.Now our little miracle isn’t so little anymore. She is almost 3 years old and will be starting preschool in the fall. Where does the time go?
Now we are anxiously
awaiting our first doctor’s appointment on May 1 (or earlier, if I can help it-I'm going bonkers!!!) for our second little miracle, who is
due around 12/4/2012. J
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